8.4 Enhance Orgasm

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4. Orgasm and Its Frequency (Update 25 Aug. 2021)

One can achieve orgasm alone or with partner. The alone is wet dream or self-masturbation. The with partner is petting and assisted or mutual masturbation, oral sex, coitus (penis-vaginal), and rectal. (Also use of other body crevice such as armpit, under or between breasts or buttock cleavage)

   There is pressure for orgasm from puberty to old age, stronger in men and strongest in youth. In men the occurrence and frequency of wet dreams can be used as measure of not enough orgasms but this can only be judged by each of us individually comparing one’s time of life because aging and other differences in individual sexual drive and orgasmic satisfaction lead to different rates of wet dreams between individuals and in same individual with aging.
   Among young women in Japan, orgasm is talked about as either being external (like you might get from your finger masturbation or from petting) or internal (orgasm of coitus). Many of the women complain that they lack the ability or the opportunity to get orgasms and some blame the male partner's hurry and lack of care about his partner's orgasm.

   In women, the orgasmic drive is weaker than in men but there is individual variation with some women feeling great pressure for frequent orgasm. Women called nymphomaniac (nymphomanic is better though less standard or simply nympho) seem never satisfied. (I had sex with one so here is hands on experience.) It was as if she could not quite achieve orgasm and was continually seeking it, and literally wore me out in bed, on rug or wherever we had sex) It seems innate. It differs from the more common sexually loose or easy woman, which is learned behavior. The sexually loose woman simply engages in more frequent sex but she comes to orgasm in the normal time.  And she seems to enjoy more.  Altered sexuality (change during a life) is caused by a number of brain diseases and has been traced, in the brain, to scars, tumors, malformations, inflammation of the medial, or inside part, of the temporal lobes and of the hypothalamus. Also it is seen in the psychiatric bipolar disease, with hypersexuality in the manic phase and hyposexuality (loss of lust) in the depressed phase. Also causing hypersexuality are the anti-depression medications, the L-DOPA used in Parkinson Disease and the androgen steroid derivatives much used now by athletes. In young or middle aged men, hypersexuality is not as obvious because, compared to women, men have a high testosterone and higher sex drive.

 Cases of older man or woman having sexual intercourse involving a child ought to be judged on the damage done. Attempting sex with a child younger than age 12 suggests serious psychological illness of the abuser, and the younger the child the more serious and potentially dangerous to society such an abuser should be considered. Such sexual abusers should be separated from society in a treatment facility but not criminalized. And of course, if there is forced rape or forced penetration of rectum, vagina, or mouth, the criminal laws should apply. The neurology of sexuality is revealing that some cases of hypersexuality are caused by lesions of the brain in the temporal lobe or the hypothalamus, from early stage tumors, from encephalitis or from inherited or birth damage. Thus, it becomes important whenever such individuals run afoul of the law that they should have a physical/psychiatric examination with an MRI of the brain before being judged criminal.

   The question of orgasmic pressure and its effect on life is important. Take the teenager or young adult male who is driven by powerful pressure for orgasm, so much so that he or she forms disastrous relationships, is a problem for peers, or catches sexually transmitted disease (STD)? What is needed is advice from a sympathetic older authority figure.
   Masturbation, in men at least, will relieve the immediate pressure for sexual experience. Any man who has observed himself immediately before and then immediately after the masturbation/orgasm sees an acute change. Immediately after orgasm, the dangerous, stupid urges that seemed at the time overwhelming are extinguished. But this is a temporary feeling and within the hour may be reversed.

   Another question is the affect of few or no orgasms on life quality. Since Freud, there is the idea that, especially in women, an asexual or hyposexual life leads to severe neuroticism. This is wrong. Humans have variation in sexual drive and also the ability to sublimate sexuality in other useful work. The worst that can happen from lack of orgasm in one with natural drive is wet dreams or bursting out of perverse sexuality under alcohol or drug. The best life is one where orgasm is under control and of moderate frequency, allowing time to accomplish other goals and to experience other joys of life.
END OF CHAPTER. To read on next now, click 8.5 Sexuality and Hormones